How To Preserve a Husband c.1910

Be careful in your selection;
do not choose too young.
And take only such varieties as have been reared
in good moral atmosphere.
When once decided upon and selected,
let that part remain forever settled
And give your entire thought to preparation for domestic use.


Some insist on keeping them in a pickle,
While others are constantly getting them into hot water.
This only makes them sour, hard and sometimes bitter.
Even poor varieties may be made sweet, tender, and good
By garnishing them with patience, well sweetened with smiles,
And flavored with kisses - to taste.


Then wrap them well in a mantle of charity.
Keep warm with a steady fire of domestic devotion
And serve with peaches and cream.
When thus prepared they will keep for years.